MY PYJAMAS

Professor Carter visited Mr. and Mrs. Crockett on the other side of town. After a good dinner and a game of the cards, he said, “I’m going to walk home now”. But Mrs. Crockett looked out of the window and said, “It’s raining outside. Please stay here tonight. “She went and prepared the guest room for him. After a few minutes, she came back to the living-room, but the professor was not there.

Mr. and Mrs. Crockett waited for more than 30 minutes, and then they started to go bed. But then somebody knocked at the back of the house. It was the professor. He was very wet. Mr. Crockett and his wife were very happy to see him. They said “you are here!”

“Yes,” the professor answered.  He smiled and added, “I went home and got my Pyjamas”.

 Taken from: introduction stories for reproduction.

PRIVATE CONVERSATION

Last week I went to the theater. I had a very good seat. The play was very interesting. I did not enjoy it, though. A young man and a young woman were sitting behind me. They were talking very loudly. I got very angry. I could not hear the actors. I turned around. I looked at the man and young woman angrily. They did not pay any attention. In the end, I could not bear it. I turned around again. “I could not hear a word” I said angrily. “It’s none your business” the young man said rudely. “This is a private conversation”.

Taken from: Rangkuman Bahasa Inggris SMA

NASREDDIN’S COAT

One day Nasreddin had been invited to the dinner party. He went to the party wearing his old clothes.

 When he arrived in the party, nobody looked at him and nobody gave him a seat.  He got no food in the party so he went home and changed his clothes.

Next he put on his best clothes. He wore his newest coat and went to the party again. The host at once got up and came to meet him. The host offered him the best table and gave him a good seat and served him the best food.

Nasreddin sat and put of his coat. He put his coat and said; “eat the food coat!” the hosts and guests were very surprised and asked Nasreddin; “what are you doing?” Nasreddin replied calmly; “when I came here with my old clothes, no body looked at me. Then I went home and put on my best clothes. I came back in my newest coat and you all gave me this best food and drink. So, you gave food to my coat instead of me”. Getting Nasreddin’s answer, they just shook the head 

Taken from: rangkuman bahasa inggris SMA

FLUFFY BUNNY RABBIT

After a long day at the office, Chris came home one day and found his dog with the neighbor’s pet rabbit in his mouth. The rabbit was obviously dead. Chris panicked! “If my neighbors find out my dog killed their bunny, they’ll hate me forever,” he thought. So he took the dirty, chewed up rabbit into the house, gave it a bath and blow-dried its fur. Chris knew his neighbors kept their backdoor open during the summer, so he sneaked inside and put the bunny back into the cage, hoping his neighbors would think it died of natural causes. A couple of days later Chris and his neighbor saw each other outside. “Did you hear that Fluffy die?” the neighbor asked. “Oh, sorry to hear that.  What happened?” Chris mumbled. The neighbor replied, “We just found him dead in his cage one day. But the strange thing is that the day after we buried him, we went out to dinner and someone must have dug him up, gave him a bath and put him back into the cage!”

Taken from interlanguage

A SMALL EXPERIMENT

An elderly gentleman of 85 feared his wife was getting hard of hearing. So one day he called her doctor to make an appointment to have her hearing checked. The doctor made an appointment for a hearing test in two weeks, and meanwhile there’s a simple informal test the husband could do to give the doctor some idea of the state of her problem.

“Here’s what you do,” said the doctor, ‘star out about 40 feet away from her, and in a normal conversational speaking tone see if she hears you. If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and so on until you get a response.”

The evening, the wife is in the kitchen cooking dinner, and he’s in the living room. He says to himself, “I’m about 40 feet away, let’s see what happens.”

FISHING LICENSE

A couple of young boys were fishing at their special pond off the beaten track. All of sudden, the guard jumped out of the bushes. Immediately, one of the boys threw his rod down and started running through the woods like a bat out of hell.

The guard was hot on his heels. After about a half mile, the young man stopped and stooped over with his hands on his things to catch his breath, so the guard finally caught up to him. ‘Let’s see your fishing license, Boy!‘’ The guard gasped.   

With that, the boy pulled out his wallet and gave the guard a valid fishing license, “well, son,” said the guard, ‘you must be about as dumb as a box of rocks!”

You don’t have to run from me if you have a valid license!”

“Yes, sir,” replied the young guy, “but my friend back there, well, he don’t have one.”

Taken from  LKS gemilang  

VAMPIRE BAT

A vampire bat came flapping in from the night, face all covered in fresh blood and parked himself on the roof the cave to get some sleep. Pretty soon all the other bats smelt the blood and began hassling him about where he got it. Ho told them to piss off and let him get some sleep, but they persisted until the finally gave in. “Ok, follow me,” he said and flew out the cave with hundreds of bats behind him. Down through a valley they went, across a river and into a huge forest. Finally he slowed down and all the other bats were excitedly around him with their tongues hanging out for blood. “Do you see that large oak tree over there?” he asked, “YES, YES, YES!!!” the bats all screamed in frenzy, “Good!” said that the first bat, “because I didn’t.’

Taken from interlanguage

Why is his job?

A grade school teacher was asking students what their parents did for a living. “Tim, you be first,” she said. “What does your mother do all day?” Tim stood up and proudly said “She is a doctor.” “That’s wonderful. How about you, Amie?” Amie shyly stood up, scuffed her feet and said, “My father is a mailman.” “Thank you, Amie,” said the teacher. ‘What about your father Billy?” Billy proudly stood up and announced, “My daddy murders people, steals from them, and drinks,” the teacher was aghast and promptly changed the subject to geography. Later that day she went to Billy’s house and rang the bell. Billy’s father answered the door. The teacher explained what his son had said and asked if there might be some logical explanations. Billy’s father said, “I’m actually an attorney, but how can explain a thing like that to seven-yaer-old?”

Taken from LKS gemilang.

SPOOF

Spoof is a type of story which has a twist (funny part in the end of the story). It contains an unpredictable event which makes the story funny. The main character of twist in a funny story should be unpredictable and funny. The social purpose of this type of text is entertaining readers using twist (unpredictable funny ending).

Text organization:

1.      The beginning of the story is contains the introduction of characters and the setting of the story.

2.      Series of events is contains what happen to the characters.

3.      Twist is contains unpredictable funny ending of the story.

Example:

PENGUIN IN THE PARK

One a man was walking in a park when he came across a penguin. He took it to a policeman and said; “what should I do?” The policeman replied; “take it to the zoo!” The next day, the policeman saw the man in the same park. The man was still carrying the penguin. The policeman was rather surprised and walked up to the man and asked; “why are you still carrying the penguin? Did you take it to the zoo?” The man replied; “I certainly did. And it was great idea because the penguin rally enjoyed it. So, today I am taking it to the movies”.

Taken from: Rangkuman Bahasa Inggris SMA